


5 Times people deny Tony coffee + 1 Time JARVIS does

by twoohugs



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Adorable Tony Stark, Avengers Tower, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Gen, It's Gen but you can interpret it however you want I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 11:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19973317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoohugs/pseuds/twoohugs
Summary: Tony♥Coffee is the purest, truest love, why does everyone keep trying to get between them?





	5 Times people deny Tony coffee + 1 Time JARVIS does

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how this happened but it happened so here you go!

1.

"Sir, Miss Potts is approaching." JARVIS warns, and a moment later Tony hears Pepper's signature heels at the entrance to his workshop.

"Pepper!" He waves at her with a tablet in his hands. "What can I do for you? Ooooh coffee!" He makes grabby hands towards the cup in Pepper's hands. Pepper shakes her head.

"No, Tony, coffee is for after you wake up, not before you sleep."

"That makes no sense! We are always in between waking up and going to sleep, you see. Like, I have just woken up- like- a few hours ago, and--"

"Tony," Pepper sighs. "How long have you been down here?"

Tony squints as he tries to recall the time or date. "JARVIS, what time is it?"

"It is 8:36a.m. on 16th July. Sir has been in the workshop for the past 31 hours and 19 minutes."

Tony wilts under Pepper's exasperated glare.

"That's it, Tony, go to bed."

"But Pepper…"

"What is it you're making that's so important?" Pepper sighs again.

Tony turns his tablet towards Pepper to show her. "I'm designing the updates for terminator's arm! This is so important, right? It's directly related to his well-being and comfort, and--"

"Tony, is this a _disco ball extension_ for Bucky's arm?" Pepper's voice turns shrill, her eyebrows lifting. 

"No, it is a light-reflecting…huh." Tony turns back to his tablet, tilting his head to look at the diagram from different angles. "It _is_ a disco ball extension."

Pepper lifts a finger to rub at her temple. "Go to bed, Tony."

"But coffee?" Tony pouts weakly. Pepper, however, has been exposed to this so much she is completely immune.

"JARVIS, please save all progress and shut down everything."

"Yes, miss Potts."

Tony sighs dejectedly at the retreating figure of coffee. And Pepper. But mostly coffee.

* * *

2.

Tony doesn’t even _know_ there was a prank war going on between the occupants of the tower. He has been in his workshop for the past three days in a working spree, and only retreated to his room for 5 hours of much-needed sleep after Pepper used her override code to make JARVIS lock down the lab until Tony has rested and eaten. 

\-----  
“Traitor,” He had mumbled when the hologram in front of him disappeared, and all the equipment shut down. 

“I, quite frankly, do not regret using this opportunity to interrupt you in the process of inserting fire wheels into the kitchen exhaust fan, sir.” JARVIS replied. Tony barely processed his AI’s words as he stumbled out of the lab and into the elevator. JARVIS, bless his soul, automatically took him up to his penthouse without being prompted. Tony staggered onto his bed, and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.  
\-----

5 hours later, Tony finds himself shuffling into the communal kitchen, his nose subconsciously leading his feet towards the heavenly aroma of coffee. Clint is the only one present, stir-frying something on the stove.

“Good afternoon, Tony.” He says, putting down his spatula and fetching a mug. Tony mumbles a response, dropping onto a stool and putting his head on the island with a _bonk_.

“Here.” Clint pushes a steaming mug next to his arm, and Tony grunts appreciatively before snatching it up and immediately taking a sip…

...and promptly spits it back out at the outrageous taste.

“What the hell?” He gasps, staring at the monstrosity in his hands. Clint howls with laughter from where he is standing. Tony rushes to the counter, pours the entire cup of offending liquid into the sink, and fills his mug with actual, caffeinated coffee from the jug. He gulps the whole mug down, refills it, and gulps the second mug down in a few seconds.

“What the hell, Barton?” His mouth thoroughly cleansed, Tony points a furious finger at a still-snickering Clint. “You gave me decaf! First thing in the morning! What have I ever done to you to deserve this?” The last part comes out as a whine.

“Prank war, Tony!” Clint says, excitement clear in his eyes, “Just because you’ve been hiding in your lab doesn’t mean you’re immune!”

Tony narrows his eyes. “Prank war?”

“Yeah? Oh dear, you didn’t know? It’s been going on for, like, two days! Like, first, Thor crushed my origami duck with Mjornir, so I shot him in the forehead with a nerf gun, and then I hit Natasha by accident, and then--” He pauses at Tony’s expression. “...What is that face.”

“Oh, nothing.” Tony slowly smirks, turning and leaving the kitchen with his mug of coffee. Wheels already turning in his head. “Hmm, prank war, you say…”

“Oh dear.” Clint stares at Tony’s retreating figure. “What have I done?”

* * *

3.

Nobody in the tower would be surprised to see anyone in the kitchen or the common room at anytime in the middle of the night. It is how they function--they each have their own monsters that come haunt them in their sleep. So, Bruce is not surprised when Tony comes into the kitchen at 3 a.m. on wobbly legs.

He watches as Tony drifts towards the coffee machine, and gives a disappointing whimper when he finds it empty.

“Sit down, Tony, you can’t even stand straight.” Taking mercy on his friend, Bruce says gently from his spot near the kitchen island. Tony jumps at his voice, not having seen his science bro with his single-minded focus on the coffee machine.

“Coffee?” He whispers. Poor guy looks like he’s going to fall over from exhaustion.

“I’ll fix you something.” Bruce says in a soft voice as he stands up. Tony nods sluggishly and collapses on the living room sofa.

Bruce half-expects Tony to be asleep when he comes out with a cup, but finds him staring blankly forward at the TV instead. Some kind of black-and-white soap opera is playing on screen, but the sound is muted and Tony’s eyes don’t seem to be focused on it anyway.

“Here.” Bruce whispers. Tony lifts the cup, sniffs, and glances at it suspiciously. “This is not coffee.”

“Chamomile tea with honey.” Bruce smiles at Tony’s adorable pout. “It’s for calming and relaxation.”

Tony looks up, a line forming between his brows. “I don’t think- I’m not going back to sleep tonight. I think. I can’t-”

Bruce hushes him and puts an arm around his shoulder. “You don’t have to. But you’re wound up, and your shoulders are all tense. This would help you relax a bit and feel better even if you don’t go back to sleep.”

Tony stays silent and looks and the steaming cup contemplatively. Bruce nudges him gently.

“For me?” He prompts.

Slowly, Tony lifts to cup up and takes a sip, then grimaces. “Meh.” He complains, but slowly drinks the whole cup.

Satisfied, Bruce takes the cup and puts it in the sink as Tony further reclines into the sofa. When he comes back out from the kitchen, he finds Tony dozing, his head resting on the back of the sofa. Smiling, Bruce pulls a blanket over Tony, settles down beside him, and sips on his own cup of tea.

* * *

4.

“No, stop right there! No fire, see?” Tony says hurriedly from where he is slumped on the floor in his workshop. He is testing a new update of his Iron Man boot, but miscalculated the power and got hurled towards the wall at top speed, dropping in a lump and _almost_ doused by DUM-E’s fire extinguisher.

DUM-E bleeps cheerfully as Tony gingerly picks himself up from the floor. That was quite a nasty fall, especially since he is usually wearing his suit when he gets thrown into walls.

“Tony? Oh my are you alright?” He hears from the door. He raises his head to see Steve rushing in, setting a dish of something down on his bench before helping him up. “JARVIS let me in.” He explains.

“Hey Cap.” Tony waves his concern off, wincing at the soreness at his back. “What’ya here for?”

“You missed dinner,” Steve says, and Tony suddenly notices how hollow his stomach feels, “I brought you food.”

“...and coffee?” Tony asks hopefully. Steve slides the plate of pasta over to him, shaking his head.

“Food first, coffee later.” He says disapprovingly, “Coffee’s harmful to an empty stomach.”

“What about food and coffee together?” Tony pleads with a pout.

“Food first.”

Tony pouts harder.

Steve sighs. “What about this: I’ll go get you your coffee, and you can drink it once you finish this plate.”

Tony thinks about it for a moment. “OK, fair enough.” He decides. Besides, the pasta smells amazing. Steve smiles, handing Tony a fork, and leaves to fetch the coffee.

Tony is happily tugging into the plate of pasta when Steve comes back. 

“Coffee!” He exclaims as JARVIS opens the door, letting the fork clatter onto the plate and making grabby hands at the mug in Steve’s hands. Steve, however, holds the mug closer to his chest.

“We had a deal, Tony, finish the food first.”

Tony groans. “You can’t keep coffee and I apart forever! Our love connects us! This is fate and you can’t fight it! We belong together!” He says dramatically, even though he is already stuffing his face with pasta. Steve just laughs and ruffles Tony’s hair good-naturedly.

* * *

5.

It is a calm, fresh morning. Tony is usually either almost collapsing of exhaustion or is asleep this time in the morning, so this view of the gentle sunlight almost feels foreign. Yesterday they got a Doom emergency during lunch, and after a long, exhausting battle, Tony just decided to go to bed after a brief shower, because he just couldn’t stand looking at electronics for a while after chasing after ugly Doombots for hours. He’d expected to wake up after a few hours and get back to work, so he didn’t even bother with drawing the blinds, and was pleasantly surprised when he finds himself waking up to warm daylight.

“Good morning, sir. It is now 7:40 a.m. You have been asleep for 11 hours.” JARVIS’s voice says. Tony stretches out on his bed, feeling unbelievably energized. He hasn’t had more than 5 hours of sleep for a long, long time.

“I can have actual breakfast, JARVIS.” He realizes with a grin.

“It appears so, sir.”

So Tony, in a chipper mood that’s honestly rare for him, goes to the kitchen to fetch breakfast. Steve and Bucky are already there, possibly after their morning run. Clint is cracking some eggs into the pan, humming under his breath. Tony waves at everyone and goes straight for the coffee machine, glad to see it already turned on and running. He leans on the counter as he waits for the coffee jug to be filled, rubbing his eyes.

“Scrambled eggs?” Clint asks, holding the pan full of eggs over a plate. Tony nods.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll eat after this,” he says, gesturing to the jug, letting out a small sigh. He has invented a flying metal suit, for heaven’s sake, yet he still hasn’t figured out a way to make good coffee faster. You either drink the disappointing instant stuff, or you wait forever for the quality stuff.

“Sure. Do you mind pouring me a cup when it’s finished?”

“If I don’t drink it all myself,” Tony shrugs. Clint only chuckles in reply.

Tony turns to the coffee machine as it beeps to signal that coffee is done. He reaches out to grab the jug, planning to just drink straight from the jug (you are in no position to judge me, Mr. Clint what’s-five-seconds-rule-I’ll eat-it-anyways Barton). Just as his finger grazes the handle, a silver arm shoots out next to him and grabs it, snatching the jug away in an instant.

“Wha- hey!” Tony turns to see Bucky cradling the coffee jug to his chest in a defensive posture. 

“Bucky, James, Buckaroo, baby, honey, can I have the coffee, please?” Tony puts on his most powerful pout and puppy eyes, and begs in the sweetest voice he can muster.

“Nope, it’s mine. Guess you’ll have to make another pot.” Meeting Tony’s pleading eyes, Bucky raises an eyebrow and gulps down the whole jug of still-hot coffee, never once breaking eye-contact.

“Myyyyyy coffeeeeeeee!” Tony wails. Tony Stark most definitely does _not_ stomp his feet.

* * *

+1

It is not often that Tony regrets his creations. Even the black-out inventing sessions when he is completely drunk usually leave behind some useful ideas to explore later (though even he has a hard time deciphering his own notes). This time, however, he is gravely regretting every life decision he has ever made, simply because they eventually led him to the current crisis.

“What do you mean, no?” He demands, outraged, at the coffee machine.

“Sir, your total caffeine consumption of the day has already exceeded the maximum coffee intake for adults. As it is part of my duty to ensure your well-being, I am obliged to prevent you from further consuming such substances.” the coffee machine replies in JARVIS’s calm British tone.

“Wha- This is not what I linked the coffee machine up to you for! You’re supposed to help me get coffee more conveniently, not take away my coffeeeeee!” Tony’s complaint turns to a whine as he slumps onto the machine, pouting.

He lets out a dramatic sob as he weakly pets the coffee machine. “I’m gonna die.” He tells it.

“On the contrary, sir, I believe that reducing your coffee intake to a suitable level would-”

“Nope,” Tony interrupts, straightening his body and pointing an accusing finger at the closest camera, “I’m gonna unlink my baby from you, and then I’m donating you to the closest city college.”

“Of course, sir.” JARVIS answers smoothly. 

Tony huffs as he contemplates leaving the tower to get coffee, or raiding some employees’ pantry in the tower for the instant stuff. To be honest, he fancies neither option--despite what JARVIS says, he is coffee-deprived, and he doesn’t even want to move, much less going down a few floors or leaving the tower. He casts a last longing glance at the coffee machine, wondering how long it would take for him to disconnect it from JARVIS’s mainframe in his current state.

Just then, his phone rings. Tony fishes it out from his pocket to see that he has a call from “Spider kid”. Smiling despite his current crisis, he answers the call.

“Underoos!”

“Hello, Mr Stark, I just left school, and I was wondering, if it is not too much trouble, can I come visit you? I mean, I was experimenting on some new polymers today, and I have this idea that may be useful on the new spider fluid, and- of course, you must be busy, so if it’s not--”

“You are always welcome here, Peter.” Tony interrupts Peter’s rambling to say hastily.

“--convenient for… Oh? Okay, Mr Stark! Thank you! I’ll be there soon!”

An idea flashes through Tony’s mind. “Wait, um, kid?”

“Yes, Mr Stark?”

“Buy me a coffee on your way in?”

“Sure! But, don’t you have coffee machines…”

Tony huffs exaggeratedly at the phone, glaring at JARVIS through the camera. “The coffee machine is… compromised.”

“O...kay?”

“Get as many shots of expresso in it as possible. I’ll pay you back! Thanks, kid. Come straight to the lab once you get in.”

“Sure. See you soon, Mr Stark!” Peter ends the call cheerily. Tony feels a wave of fondness for the kid as he pockets his phone with a smug smile.

“Coffee~” He sing-songs as he saunters towards the elevator to his lab. It is probably his imagination, but he thinks JARVIS’s silence somehow sounds like defeat. Tony can’t keep the grin off his face--he can’t wait to see Peter. And the coffee he brings. Definitely the coffee. Nobody can keep him away from coffee.


End file.
